Memories are meant to fade

2010-02-04T20:30:00.002+08:00

Fall in love Feat. Sol (Big Bang)
Fall in love, is this really happening?
Are you my last lover?
I want to believe I have to believe forever.
Sleepless night thinking of you
Whispering your name again
It is so painful and I
Can’t stop reading your messages
I miss you every second
(I’ll go out at midnight to see you, do you feel the same? Baby)
I’m afraid to be too selfish
I wanna believe, This feeling is real

Fall in love is this really happening?
Are you my last lover?
I want to believe I have to believe forever.

Fall in love does not need anything
All I need is you, you are precious to me
Keep your hands connected with me forever

This is the first time I felt this way
I want to remember this feeling baby
You’re afraid of your heart being broken
I promise you I’ll protect it
If there is a destiny
(The meaning forever you promise me do you feel the same? Baby)
I want it to be you
I wanna believe this feeling is real

Fall in love is this really happening?
Are you the last lover
I want to believe I have to believe forever

The constellations of winter and the summer sunsets
I wanna look at them with you forever

Fall in love while you hold me
Why would I feel like crying?
Tears keep falling, and I can’t stop them

Fall in love does not need anything
I have you and you are precious
And do not end our love forever

Simply love this song
Addicted to it while i was finding song
Oh, i love HyunA - Change too damn sexy her LOL!

**
To those 3 people that hold hand in hand,
I'm so used to it,
and i understannd,
but it's alright
To that person that know
Thank you,
keep it a secret.

2010-02-04T15:08:00.001+08:00

2010-02-04T14:54:00.001+08:00

2010-02-04T14:09:00.003+08:00

School = Tiring
God pls help me pass this semester with Flying colours ((:

Ps some photos of some ducks

2010-02-02T23:15:00.000+08:00

WEEEEE.....
UT3 for Production really kns!
sigh
but forget it
what's done cannot be undone
FUCK !!
I forget how to set up the whole damn thing loh..
Now must concentrate on EOF my best module
I DONT WANT TO FLUNG!

Aww..

The sweetest thing on earth = Duck?? LOL!!

2010-02-02T16:24:00.002+08:00

Enough of your selfish-ness
say i selfish say here say there...
Imagine you in my position lah...
Keep your comments to your fucking self
If want to say selfish,
look back and think about it
say i'm someone like that
if till now you people still don't know me
you must well fuck off and die??

To that someone whom deem to know a lot bout me
Your Facebook tags are so beautifully tag
Your friends is a wow
Thanks to you
WHY IS IT YOU GOT THE FUCKING SYMPATHY?!

I'm still a fucking friend and i always soft hearted to be your friend
From then till now have i throw you this FRIEND AWAY?!
HAVE I EVER SAY YOU?!
ONLY WHEN TIMES IM ANGRY I COMPLAIN YOU BITCH OR WHAT
BUT HAVE I SAY YOU SELFISH OR WHAT!

DIDN'T I ALWAYS WANTED TO HELPED YOU FROM LAST TIME?

Now you turn back and bite me and on my back
Hello not i never bare it down!
Imagine thousand of friends say you...
IMAGINE SAYING PEOPLE ARD YOU
ARE YOU FUCKING CB HAPPY?!?!

It isn't that i never bare it and ask you leave me even as friend before
is you dont want to
Now you and your FRIENDS
BLAME ME!!

You dont think i COCK I DUNO WHO THE FUCK KNOWS AND SAY ME
enough..
now i still treat you as a friend and you shld fucking know

2010-02-01T20:45:00.001+08:00

A new month
A new start
Which marks the date
2 months before April Fool...

2010-02-01T20:40:00.000+08:00

The Triplets of Belleville, the first thing that I notice was the fingers of the triplets; guess what they only have 4 fingers which made the animated feels like it’s a Disney film with vivid and imaginative shapes. For example the French Mafia subordinates with a square shaped body. The Triplets of Belleville gives the audience a fresh kind of looks with the unique shapes of the body and its character and a film that is beyond the protagonist and antagonist with the having of two main characters. One of which is the Champion and the other would be his grandmother, madam Souza.
A unique file with unique characters and unique shapes, and the interplay between characters that is this film has no “real” dialogue, compromise with characters like the dog Bruno that barks whenever a train passes. It includes those funny actions which madam Souza did to her grandson, like for example after their training; she will massage for her in a way just made the audience go in awe. Which goes the same as when the Triplets of Belleville, eating frogs and how they actually catch the frogs. It’s EPIC!
Using music, and sound effects to create this dialogue free film; is just so wonderful and amazing that how without dialogue we can also understand fully what the film is actually trying to say and with deeper understanding.
The climax of the film whereby when the mafia in the gambling dens nearly start shooting, how the triplets and madam Souza escape from them each details, each story line is just so wonderful. What will the story be without these strong characters and the bridge in the middle and the introduction of the triplets? I just wonder.
Using Paris famous tower to fix the wheels, all these made this film a very interesting and the whole story reveals the love the grandmother love for his grandson, by destroying any obstacles in front of her to save the grandson.
The dramatic ending, with Disney liked feel character made it into a must watch film that encompass the element of love and a never say die spirit to save the grandson; Champion.

2010-01-30T13:39:00.003+08:00

Is leaving the choice to make people happy?
I don't get it...
Why people always have this selfish thinking?
Or i have seen too much?

Why cant they love and yet stay?
Hurting?

2010-01-29T11:33:00.002+08:00

I'm sorry i don't want to shed it down
I'm still the same me,
if you ever turn around the straight path we walked
you on left
me on right

You just have to turn around you will always find me
Standing at the same spot

I don't like to cry
Worst is in front of people

Some things i will just keep it although i knew it
something and still left being untold
yet i do not want to find out the truth
If i have never found out
things would not turn out this way

That time i was on the verge of going
You know my weakness
You knew it didn't you?

I always keep inside
Those words that was said
kept inside...

Forget it..
It of no use...

The ultimate breakdown...

Everything
talk is cheap
actions is cheap
all these can be fake
i can't see the heart
neither will i...

I'm always standing there

2010-01-29T10:56:00.002+08:00

wasteful tears – navi (ft. hyunah)

forget it.. we’re over. .
I don’t need a guy like you
if you’re going to be like this, why me
play around with other girls.

when the phone rings, you look at me
and tell me it’s your mom and answer it outside
telling me you need to go home asap
… you meet another girl

such obvious lies. Just shut it now.
why didn’t you tell me you have a girlfriend
did you think I wouldn’t know? Do I look stupid to you?
I want to let go of your hand now

forget it.. we’re over. .
I don’t need a guy like you
if you’re going to be like this, why me
play around with other girls.

you’re funny. Do you think you are the only guy on earth?
Grabbing my hand like that is useless
I hope that one day you meet a woman just like yourself
And become like me

Just hearing that you’re busy
Even If I missed you, I waited for you patiently
The text that said you had fun last night.. it came accidentally to me

I must be crazy, insane
Getting deceived again and again
I’m sick of it, your incurable disease
I just pity you now

forget it.. we’re over. .
I don’t need a guy like you
if you’re going to be like this, why me
play around with other girls.

you’re funny. Do you think you are the only guy on earth?
Grabbing my hand like that is useless
I hope that one day you meet a woman just like yourself
And become like me

I only loved you. The tears I spilled for you
I feel like they were wasted

hahaha you’re funny. Do you think you are the only guy on earth?
where would you find a girl like me?
don't ask me and get away
I’ll meet another men
and I’ll live joyously, freely day and night
without thinking about you bye

forget it, so that I can live like this forever .
I’m not interested in you anymore
do you think I’ll turn back if you cry
don’t even think about grabbing me.

I'm freaking addicted to this song !!
Damn nice song..
Damn nice lyrics

2010-01-28T14:14:00.001+08:00

Is it so fun lie?!

2010-01-28T14:11:00.002+08:00

I had enough of your koh ji mal!
Enough ...
Enough of those fake emotions
I want forget your existence
because it's all just a freaking night-mare

Fuck!!
I need to wake up..

2010-01-28T13:54:00.002+08:00

FUCK
FUCK
FUCK
FUCK
FUCK
FUCK
FUCK
FUCK
FUCK
FUCK
FUCK
FUCK

FUCKING CHEE BYEEEEEEE

Can those droplets fucking stop dripping like fuck?
sometimes i just hope,
get some freaking memory lost illness
or
maybe banging the wall helps
NA BEI CHEE BYE

2010-01-28T11:07:00.002+08:00

Hate to love,
Hate to be Good...
Please GOD,
May there be a head accident
So that it bang so hard that i forget everything
Like a night mare haunting me...

I'm sorry to some people
I can't help but to cry
I promise this is my 20 year old promise
I was thinking older people can cut why not me
why cut cause i will cut double all those shit
but...redundant

No use already
Freaking redundant

I hope i die soon
really soon
I won't hurt myself again
never,
sorry i shouldn't make people worry
when i'm 20 this year,
damn shit

oh yah..
To someone someone
I know that person may not know
but yah i still wanna say.

All along i didn't knew the truth
if i know that something is something
never mind guess i shall bear it all again

fuck it babe
So hurting
Fuck it babe....
I cant hate anyone but myself
for believing in people's lies

Lies lies lies and more lies

Im so sick of love songs,
Memento of ours is ALL LIES!!!

My eyes are raining with water
I bring you back from my memories
I promise myself i would be fine without you
but i can't help it

I cut to trying to fill my empty heart
I hate it. A day without you is too long
I pray to finally forget you (But it's a lie)
Without happiness can't be found in me

No tears well up
I don't want to live anymore

THIS IS BULLSHIT
It's pissing me off
The thoughts of you, I'm going crazy
I want to see you but they say i can't

That it's all over (But i'll be right there)
I'm so sorry but i love you - It's a lie
I didn't know but now i know i need you
I'm so sorry but i love you - out of anger

I push you away with those piercing words without realising it
I'm so sorry but i love you will you leave me?
And forget me slowly
So i could be in pain

Those words i say was all lies
Now i'm being left alone
The sight of me not knowing what to do
The text message that is kept inside
and always will be

And my habit of texting you and wondering where you are
I want to change
I want to laugh it all off right now

I hope this is all a dream
Because i'm nothing more than this
I still can't forget
No i don't, and i dont think i ever will
Did the scars i give you heal
I'm sorry but i never got to do anything for you

Girl, i'm sorry. But i love you
That's all i gotta say
Everything gotta be alright isn't it?
So damn, why am i crying

2010-01-28T09:35:00.002+08:00

微凉的晚秋
随着落叶擦肩而过
多少年
日升月没转瞬间过
冰冷的雨滴
打在温热的我的手
多少泪
顺着脸颊不停滑落

而我的梦深藏在心中
那里有甜蜜的幻想全是你和我
但你却说太遥远
梦已经不够
需要多些空间
让彼此再去寻找快乐

只想再听你说
你愿意爱着我
直到地老天荒下个世纪末
真的只想再听你说
在你心中我算什么
给我一个答案算不算太过奢求

难忘记熟悉的轮廓
期望能再紧抱着我
你却不肯回头

只想再听你说
愿意继续爱我
你却是低着头用力的沉默
真的只想再听你说
求求你不要再闪躲
才明白爱上你
等于爱上了寂寞
才明白爱上你
等于爱上了寂寞

2010-01-28T02:39:00.002+08:00

I live in your lies
Don't pity me,
cause i don't need your pity
your fake kindness

I'm not okay
I have to...
I'm not strong
But i have to...

I all along do not want to make choices
do nort force people to make choices
neither will i...

All i want is to be happy
simple...
Yet i've to make choices to be simple and happy

I saw the quote
If one day i were to give up
it doesn't mean that i have forgotten bout you
but is because i love you too much...

If you were turn back you can always find me
but i can never find you...

I live in your lies
I knew it all along
Yet i didn't say i bear it down...

What the fuck have i ever done wrong
I will never love again...
Love just sucks
When i think for people
have they ever think for me?

I ask someone this question
will the person that love you lie
the answer is yes...
hahaa..if love why lie

why cheat?

All along i'm like a total idiot
a total fool
now i cover up my full story.
Full stop

no more,
if someone were to turn back half way and say how much she feels for you
moral of story is never believe (:

someone teaches me that nth is forever
And i long learnt that if it happen once
it happen twice
and i believe in retribution
and i don't hate people

And i shall, stop toturing myself.
People are so scary..

So what if a bung is a bung
have to be strong??
yes in front of people
but time when it it pain too much people will seek alternative
We are human with emotions

I'm not talking about me

2010-01-28T02:35:00.003+08:00

當你決定　你要離開我　
我沒有說什麼　
就當作你自由

有好幾次我都想挽留　
苦求也沒有用
就當作是寂寞

因為我能明白
他的溫柔　對你是種解脫
就坦白告訴我
誰是你的最愛

其實你很愛他　
對我的懲罰　
說你沒有想他　
是可憐我吧

我已沒有藉口
只能放手
不敢奢求
你說愛我

其實你很愛他　
他很溫柔嗎　
其實你很想他　
就說出口吧

我已不想多說
摀住耳朵
不想再次聽到你說
你很愛他

Do you believe in retribution?
Yes i do...
This is the past...

Nothing last forever...

2010-01-26T20:41:00.001+08:00

Bought lots of application
Had production today

I'm still in school now
so tired
low blood already
My mind kinda no blood im dying due to the lack of blood
food
water
hahahaha

=.= Tomorrow i'm going to Orchard !! (:
Anyone wanna meet me there??? (:

2010-01-26T08:42:00.001+08:00

Sometimes... i just wonder....
off to school i'm late aww

2010-01-25T12:04:00.000+08:00

If i were to be the "Monk and the Fish", by letting go is then i will get "you".
So do i have to let go, before i found you?
I'm sorry
I just can't forget about it yet
sorry peeps im not trying to be emotional
though i smile
but i seldom like i always do anymore
The stronger i be the more my heart ache inside of me...

2010-01-25T10:53:00.001+08:00

我这该死的爱，不管有多难受我依然可以忍受。

我那反复抽不完的烟，
就像我一直都默默地站在一旁看着

你握住的手
你那灿烂美丽的笑容
亲爱的
那不是我，
但一切的一切

我都可以忍受
确实是这样
那是因为没资格

一个钟，两个钟
等啊等
只想看到你一面
不想被你看到
我只想默默的等

我不会成为你的负担
我没那个能耐
为没有资格
不能做比较

比起来，
我算什么

爱是什么
我看到的是什么
不算什么

爱

2010-01-19T03:47:00.003+08:00

If crying can lessen my pain i can cry a sea of tears
If cutting can replace the hurt my heart felt i can cut maybe what people say chop off the hand better, or donate all my blood to a vampire.
If punching the wall, can replace emotional pain i would punch until my bones turn into powder.

If loving hurts so much, i dont know what to do
Im so lost,
crying doesn't bring me anywhere

I bless the people around me
Everyone moves on
just like how i always say to others
Very str8-forward the reality is cruel.

I hope i can be like what i say
I also want to be happy
I like one Emo fuck shit
Staying at the same old fucking spot
Couldn't move on...
could go back
for no one is there to support me
or there is but i dont admit the fact that there is.

I want care and concern
I know i have
yet i don't want
Hahaha.. dont get what i mean right?

I fucking LOST..
I so reluntant to do everything
I want to be stronger
If can i long ago would be attach
Aiyah wtf i saying lah CBCBCBCBCBCBCBCB

CAN I STOP BEING SO EMO!!

CCBCCBCCBCCBCCB
Why some can be flirt why the flirt is not me
Hahahhaa..
Why i cant be a fucking player
WHY WHY WHY!!

Why am i soooOOooO stupid
Im TWENTY THIS YEAR FUCKING TWENTY
CBCBCBBCBCB
i always seems like yeah i so strong i move on easily
CCB!!
PEOPLE GOT SEE THAT I DWELL IN THE PAST
FUCK FUCK FUCK KNNBCCB!

MY 100PERCENT LOVE IS NOTHING

CCBCBCBBCCBCBCBCBCBCBBCBCCBCCBCBCBC
PEOPLE DONT REALISE I LOVE THEM TILL I GAVE UP
ISIT!!!!!!
I GOT SO BAD MAH...

THEY SAY ARIES FORGET FAST
YES WE DO
WE CAN LOVE ANOTHER FAST
LIKE FUCK I CAN!!
hahhha.. JUST KIDDING
i just randomly vending my pain
i duno wad i doing lah..
just saying random thoughts
how i hope everyone get outta my life..NOW

2010-01-15T11:03:00.002+08:00

丁当 - 我爱他作词：
黄婷作曲：陈威

全他的轻狂留在
某一节车厢地下铁里的风
比回忆还重整座城市一直等着
我有一段感情还在漂泊
对他唯一遗憾是分手那天

我奔腾的眼泪都停不下
来若那一刻重来
我不哭
让他知道我可以很好

我爱他轰轰烈烈最疯狂
我的梦狠狠碎过却不会忘
曾为他相信明天就是未来
情节有多坏
都不肯醒来我爱他
跌跌撞撞到绝望
我的心深深伤过却不会忘

我和他不再属于这个地方
最初的天堂
最终的荒唐
如果还有遗憾
又怎么样呢伤了痛了懂了
就能好了吗
曾经依靠彼此的肩膀
如今各自在人海流浪

我爱他
轰轰烈烈最疯狂
我的梦狠狠碎过却不会忘逃不开
爱越深越互相伤害越深的依赖
越多的空白该怎么去爱

我爱他
轰轰烈烈最疯狂
我的梦狠狠碎过却不会忘
曾为他相信明天就是未来
情节有多坏
都不肯醒来

我爱他
跌跌撞撞到绝望
我的心深深伤过却不会忘
我和他不再属于这个地方
最初的天堂
最终的荒唐
如果还有遗憾是
分手那天我奔腾的眼泪都停不下

来若那一刻重来
我不哭让他知道我可以很好

2010-01-14T01:15:00.004+08:00

Changed the lyrics from
Show Luo "Love don't travel alone"
“爱不单行”
Hope it sound nice...
Try it people!!
It's been so long since i written lyrics
so, long...
I haven't had inspiration since kinda long
Busy doing this and that

Re-edited!! Again

爱一个人往往是痛苦的
爱一个不会爱上我的人

明明知道会被你伤害还是去相信
也许是我太笨
也许我太爱了

伤
痛是你给我的
我一直都相信
所以伤了自己
为何你要选择

伤害我那么深
难道你一点也不惭愧吗

伤
会渐渐消失吗
这累积下的痛
你因该不懂吧
为何我还爱你

还一直爱着你
爱着一个不会爱上我的人

我尽力的痛你是否受过
我恨你为何一再抛弃我

是我不适合还是
因为你不会爱我

你拉远的距离
我已不再追了

伤
痛你给我的
我会慢慢长大
我不要想你了
为何你偏要走
一句话也不留
你为何要就这样抛弃我
哦~

伤
会让我更坚强
因为我要证明
我不再需要你
不管我怎么骗
事实都不会变

那就是我会一直在守候
因为我猛然还是爱着你

Copyrighted PENGZ

不管流了多少的眼泪
实事都不会改变

一而再
再而三

历史重演
那种心痛的感觉
是我成长的过程

你是否承受过
那种不管怎么哭
不管多么想
实事不会改变

那种说不出的痛
我无话可说

我什么都不想说
我也什么都不会说
痛就由我来承担

你会好好过
虽然我看不惯

damnit i don't wanna write already hahaha..
My Tibits end here...

2010-01-14T01:05:00.000+08:00

愛不單行

找不到人说心里的寂寞
找不到人都怕变得沉默
找不到命中注定在一起的人以后
很多人都笑我
一个人过生活

爱
只有简单笔画
却比想象复杂
很安定爱变化
我爱过几个人
也被爱过几遍
却还是没能将幸福留下

爱
是不可输的吗
为何我还相信
她不是不欣赏
我在等一个人
在等我的永恒
告诉我爱不单行别害怕

用不完身边泛滥的自由
还是怕孤单是一种诅咒
羡慕我能飞的人为何在天黑以后
还是宁愿回到
爱情那个枷锁

爱
只有简单笔画
却比想象复杂
很安定爱变化
我爱过几个人
也被爱过几遍
却还是没能将幸福留下

爱
是不可输的吗
为何我还相信
她不是不欣赏
我在等一个人
在等我的永恒
告诉我爱不单行别害怕

爱
是不可输的吗
为何我还相信
她不是不欣赏
我在等一个人
在等我的永恒
告诉我爱不单行别害怕

我在等一个人
在等我的永恒
告诉我爱不单行相信她

2010-01-13T14:27:00.002+08:00

The hands that i can't hold, someday become my anonymous friend

Totally mood-less
Thank goodness someone came pei me smoke (:

muahahaha..

I'm having anemia

Yes i don't say
I have nothing to say
I don't wanna say anything anymore

Fuck off

2010-01-13T11:21:00.002+08:00

楊丞琳 - 匿名的好友

獨送昏暗不離的風
為何你被愛
那孤寂的天色好冷
溫柔和夢在胸口浮現你的面容

也許我們當時年紀真的太小
總愛懵懵懂懂走進各自天空
該怎么說讓彼此選擇
當思念還轉動

不能握的手
從此匿名的朋友
其實我的執著依然執著
與你無關淚自行吸收

不能握的手
卻比親人更親厚
當所有如果都沒有如果
只有失去的溫柔最溫柔

當又一次美麗的風
回憶了被愛
那孤寂的天色好冷
溫柔好我在胸口浮現你的面容

也許我們當時年紀真的太小
總愛懵懵懂懂走進各自天空
那是什么讓彼此選擇
又不僅是尊重

不能握的手
從此匿名的朋友
其實我的執著依然執著
與你無關淚自行吸收

不能握的手
卻比親人更親厚
當所有如果都沒有如果
只有失去的溫柔最溫柔

不能握的手
卻比親人更親厚
其實我的執著依然執著
卻決心和你不再聯絡

不能握的手
卻比愛人更長久
當所有如果都沒有如果
只有失去的擁有最永久

2010-01-13T00:43:00.002+08:00

Sometimes i felt i think too much

I have so much to say
I want to express so much
I can't

Maybe i'm thinking so much
I'm easily contented i guess
Maybe this 1 year plus single made me don't know how to care?
Hahaha..
idk

Maybe i do...

I feel like i'm a fucker sometimes
I don't know
I have feelings too

I'm a human too
I needed care too
I needed love too eh
hahah.. these words sound so familiar

when people use these words i will shoot back
Yes, but only you have feeling meh?
Others don't?

Sometimes im just being contradicted by myself
Today i din went sch

Missed my UT i guess
sigh

I can't sleep i seriously can't
till late morning

(Entertainment Time)

I've always been waiting
waiting for even short replies
A simple reply brighten up the day
finally i understand

The insecurity i have
makes me seems like a despo

Yet i have to stop myself from being one
because i'm not

these short stories i write
these sentence i think of
the things i go through
the things people go through

life isn't so tough
but comes to love is unpredictable

simple word i love you
simple being together could be like getting so tough

how many passed opportunity
which can never come back
never again
even how much tears you shed
i understand the feeling

i understand the feeling of even though how much begging
pleading
yet,
no replies
no answer
no reaction from the person you love

My memories have stuck
painful memories that made me grow up to become someone like this
till now i can't forget
can't forget that particular scene

Maybe since then i have form a barrier to prevent myself from getting hurt
to become ignorance
but seriously am i like that?

no...
i'm not

i hate to say this
but i'm kind

i hate to say this but i rather hurt myself at times
even if it meant to be my own happiness
have i hurt my loved one?
upteen times i guess

through all these years
i become so scare of loving
to really put down all my heart in loving
but i still do

i still do and i still will,
Why everytime when i decided to love someone wholeheartly i got hurt?

why?
why when i put 100% people do not at the start?

Do i look like a fucking idiot?

Past
all these have pass

Memories still haunting me now and then
to make me always think
have i become someone whom always think so much?

I dont want seems despo
nor paranoid
cause i hate it
Luckily i'm not

I hate people who suddenly go MIA
why?
In actual fact im not angry
but rather sad

Since the first goes MIA twice
Made me become so scare..
maybe fear?
i don't know
suddenly leave

Break up this word mean so much
never put this word like it could be said so easily
seperate and break ain same
but i just don't like
after the second

Fourth let me learn so much
Learn my mistake
that i made
if you are not confirm with your feeling
don't be together simple
end up hurting more people and that person whom love you.

Fifth made me have so many painful memories
that really made me grow up somewhat heartless at times

Sixth, if you never persevere on
why cant persevere on
set back?

hahahaha... my entertainment so boring today

past love
past opportunities

Sometimes when i look back i so feel like crying out loud
but it's only me that dwell in
that i miss it

I have not learnt this lesson

craps lah
hahaha
I'm still waiting

Maybe i should grow up more

Tibits time!

我默默的等待
等待着那简单的回应

爱昏了头
我变得很不想我自己

好没有安全感
那种滋味
好难受

好想好想
能够看到你那也足够了

痛是我长大的过程

2010-01-11T15:28:00.002+08:00

Chalet was fun,
simply drinking, slacking, eating and the most having lots and lots of fun with my boutique people.
Get to know old boutique people.
Hahaha..

Aww..Tiring yet fulfilling and simply i really enjoyed it very much.

The 1st day after chalet was work,
Work then back to chalet.
wow tiring man i'm like sleeping 2hrs per day only dude!

But i really enjoyed it
Wasn't drunk
cause i'm simply a good drinker
Muahahhaa..

Enjoyable days pass very fast..
Sun went back @ 11am plus
slack with stef till like.. 6++pm GOD!
we are like talking non-stop!
hahahhaa..
Got eat.. blahhhh

It's the imperfection that cause me want to know you

2010-01-07T15:29:00.002+08:00

I hate to be kept in the dark,
I want you people to tell me on your own
Till i really asked it will be too late
don't ask me what i know
Cause i know a lot of things that you dim that i don't know but i know

I can think on my own
I have 6th sense that you never believed.
I can sense things is wrong and this is normal

Don't ever think about hiding,
I may be naive
I hate myself
Hate myself for forgiving and forgetting things easily

Sometimes i just fucking yearn to be heartless
FYI TO YK
To you to others im the same so NO POINT KEEP SAYING ME!
I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU SAYING ME BITCH!

Or else never think about contacting me ever again..

I like to say a lot of hurtful words at one shot when i'm angry
but i hate it when people remembers them...
This is me...
Fucking me
I WANT TO BE FUCKING HEARTLESS

2010-01-07T15:25:00.001+08:00

楊丞琳 - 雨愛

作曲: 金大洲
填詞: Wonderful

窗外的天氣
就像是你多變的表情
下雨了雨陪我哭泣
看不清我也不想看清

#離開你我安靜的抽離
不忍揭曉的劇情
我的淚流在心裡
學會放棄

*聽雨的聲音一滴滴清昕
你的呼吸像雨滴滲入我的愛裡
真希望雨能下不停

讓想念繼續讓愛變透明
我愛上給我勇氣的 Rainie Love

窗外的雨滴一滴滴累積
屋內的濕氣像儲存愛你的記憶
真希望雨能下不停

雨愛的秘密能一直延續
我相信我將會看到彩虹的美麗*

冷冷的空氣
很仔細我無法呼吸
一萬顆雨滴的距離
很徹底讓愛消失無息

Repeat#*

屋內的濕氣像儲存愛你的記憶
真希望雨能下不停

雨愛的秘密能一直延續
我相信我將會看到彩虹的美麗

2010-01-06T01:03:00.002+08:00

I hate the feeling of people coming and going as and when they like
But guess this is part and parcel of life
Actually i feel that i'm so naive
Just like what arians are
Naive...
A key to destruction of their own life...

To actually believe and keep on believing others of what they say until they found out
Until they realise changes in people (:
But Lucky we are also good in adapting i guess
I guess life goes on with or without these people...
No choice eh?

Due to my ultra pack things that i have to do...
Yes, saddness dwells
How long can it last?
For arians whom always look back
They are nostalgic people..
but guess some people aren't

what to do?
Still live on with life..
I'm so exhausted already
Doing all my stuff already kills half of my life

Today...after school
Just went back home
Who also don't want meet
Emo... ?
Nah i guess
I guess i just want to be alone,
since no one understands how busy and hectic my life was now...

Guess what i even forgot to eat
HOW CAN SOMEONE LIKE ME FORGOT?!
I'm so hungry now yet so lazy to go eat at 1am

Just now did felt dizzy
WHAT TO DO?!
LIFE MOVES ON!

2010-01-05T02:38:00.003+08:00

My work load is getting heavier,
I can sense it
And my body is soon breaking down

Reply messages text people are getting harder and lesser
all my time i'm focus on my laptop
or TCC

Even affect my work.
I don't wanna give myself a break
sometimes i wonder about my ability

But seems like people sees and think i have the ability
Do i have the ability?
In class,
Talked about internship
and my faci was so willingly to helped me
because he sees i have the strength
and he wants to help
and he can.

But when asked,
i stunt i awe

Do i really have th strength?
Do i really have the ability?
I'm always confidence when comes to work
but this time i'm stunt by my own actions too
"Where is my confidence"?

I actually WONDER IF I HAVE THE ABILITY?!

Sometimes, i just wonder
maybe subconsiously i have always wonder
am i a good friend
a good lover
a good in whatever
am i?

I used to use...I'm
but now ..
why it has to be am i?

People view me as i view myself in a different way
true...
because they can see things i don't
but what if i'm the one feeling that i couldn't do it?

I lost my confidence
I need to find them

For work,
For future i can scarifice nearly everything
because i want to work towards my goal..
but
contradictingly is can i?

2010-01-04T03:04:00.001+08:00

The moment you come across an Aries, the first thing that comes to your mind is his/her friendly nature. The friendliest person in your neighborhood will most probably be an Aries personality. People having an Aries profile cannot tolerate injustice, always fight against it and will defend the weak. Aries, The Ram, is the first sign of the zodiac, considered to be the infant representing birth. Just like an infant, he is also aware only of himself and his needs. However, he is not selfish. It's just that he is totally ignorant of the fact that his needs may be causing you some inconvenience.

The innocence of Aries people is enough to cover their, sometimes, aggressive behavior. This naiveté brings fearlessness, while at the same time making them highly vulnerable. They trust people easily, get hurt in the process, forgive and forget, and then, trust again. An Aries person is beyond shrewdness and fallacy and can never lie, not even to save his life. He is what he seems to be. Qualities like subtlety, diplomacy or modesty just don't gel with Aries symbol. An Aries can be calm, wise and serious, but not before he has gone past youth.

He is pretty impatient, but liberal with money and material things. Frankness, lack of stability, fear of physical pain, optimism and impulsiveness are some of the basic Aries characteristics. One of the warmest and the most generous zodiac sign, Aries always prefers fame to money. He may get extremely angry in a minute, but the anger seldom lasts for a long time. Aries people never nurse a grudge and completely forgive and forget. They will never let you know that they are hurt.

They are never shy of apologizing, but they will be hurt if you remember the harsh words they said in anger, but didn't mean. Gossip does not interest an Aries and for him, people are either black or white, without any shades of grey. There is one thing an Aries can never fall short of, conversation. He can speak about anything & everything under the sun. He lives in the present and is a realist, yet believes in miracles. Aries chase success, not waiting for it to fall in their lap, and don't accept defeat. Failure can never keep them down.

Most of the Aries people are involved in business or creative arts or are involved in planning and organization. If an Aries does something for you, don't forget to express your gratitude. Otherwise, he will be deeply hurt. However, that would not stop him from helping again. Aries usually stick to their opinion and won't listen to anything they do not believe. They have a contemplative side to their personality. The simplicity is blended with the blind passion of a born crusader. Aries is mentally strong and always one of the pioneers.

Wedding Dress

2010-01-02T00:12:00.001+08:00

I would argue
Then you would cry
As you’re struggling, I would only get stronger
My heartaches behind these shadows
My face brightens up as I see your smile
I worry that you might notice my feelings
And I get scared that the gap between us would widen
I hold my breath
Then I bite my lips
Then I pray that she would leave his side.

Baby, please don’t hold those hands
Cuz you should be my lady
Please look at me, I’ve been waiting all this time.

Once the music ends, you’ll be with him forever
I prayed and prayed that this day wouldn’t come
The wedding dress you once wore
The wedding dress you once wore
The wedding dress you once wore

You, who never understood my feelings
Because of that, I ended up despising you
Then I wished a misfortune upon you
But now, my eyes are dry
I try to talk to you but I realized that I’m alone
Every night, I would look back and think
If I already knew the results
Then I close my eyes
Then I dream an endless dream
Then I pray she would leave his side.

Baby, please don’t hold those hands
Cuz you should be my lady
Please look at me, I’ve been waiting all this time.

Once the music ends, you’ll be with him forever
I prayed and prayed that this day wouldn’t come
The wedding dress you once wore
The wedding dress you once wore
The wedding dress you once wore

By all means, be happy with him
So I can move on
Please erase me out of your heart
Although I tried my best but, no oh~

I’ve been living the lies for too long
Yet, she would look at me and smile.

———————

ROMANIZATIONS + KOREAN

니가 그와 다투고
niga geuwa datugo
때론 그 땜에 울고
ttaeron geu ttaeme ulgo
힘들어 할 때면 난 희망을 느끼고
himdeureo hal ttaemyeon nan huimangeul neukkigo
아무도 모르게 맘 아-아-아프고
amudo moreuge mam a-a-apeugo
니작은 미소면 또 담담해지고
nijageun misomyeon tto damdamhaejigo

니가 혹시나 내 마음을 알게 될까봐
niga hoksina nae maeumeul alge doelkkabwa
알아버리면 우리 멀어지게 될까봐
arabeorimyeon uri meoreojige doelkkabwa
난 숨을 죽여
nan sumeul jug yeo
또 입술을 깨물어
tto ipsureul kkaemureo
제발 그를 떠나 내게 오길
jebal geureul tteona naege ogil

Baby 제발 그의 손을 잡지마
Baby jebal geuui soneul japjima
Cuz you should be my Lady
오랜 시간 기다려온 날 돌아봐줘
oraen sigan gidaryeo on nal dorabwajwo

노래가 울리면 이제 너는
noraega ullimyeon ije neoneun
그와 평생을 함께하죠
geuwa pyeongsaengeul hamkkehajyo
오늘이 오지 않기를
oneuri oji ankireul
그렇게 나 매일 밤 기도했는데
geureoke na maeil bam gidohaenneunde

네가 입은 웨딩드레스
nega ibeun wedingdeureseu
네가 입은 웨딩드레스
nega ibeun wedingdeureseu
네가 입은 웨딩드레스
nega ibeun wedingdeureseu

내 맘을 몰라줬던
nae mameul mollajwotdeon
네가 너무 미워서
nega neomu miwoseo
가끔은 네가 불행하길 난 바랬어
gakkeumeun nega bulhaenghagil nan baraesseo
이미 내 눈물은 다 마 마 마르고
imi nae nunmureun da ma ma mareugo
버릇처럼 혼자 너에게 말하고
beoreutcheoreom honja neoege malhago

매일 밤 그렇게 불안했던걸 보면 난
maeil bam geureoke buranhaetdeongeol bomyeon nan
이렇게 될꺼란 건 알았는지도 몰라
ireoke doelkkeoran geon aranneunjido molla
난 눈을 감아
nan nuneul gama
끝이 없는 꿈을 꿔
kkeuchi eomneun kkumeul kkwo
제발 그를 떠나 내게 오길
jebal geureul tteona naege ogil

Baby 제발 그의 손을 잡지마
Baby jebal geuui soneul japjima
Cuz you should be my Lady
오랜 시간 기다려온 날 돌아봐줘
oraen sigan gidaryeo on nal dorabwajwo

네가 입은 웨딩드레스
nega ibeun wedingdeureseu
네가 입은 웨딩드레스
nega ibeun wedingdeureseu
네가 입은 웨딩드레스
nega ibeun wedingdeureseu

부디 그와 행복해
budi geuwa haengbokhae
너를 잊을 수 있게
neoreul ijeul su itge
내 초라했던 모습들은 다 잊어줘
nae chorahaetdeon moseupdeureun da ijeojwo
비록 한동안은
birok handonganeun  no oh
나 죽을 만큼 힘이 들겠지만
na jugeul mankeum himi deulgetjiman no oh

너무 오랜 시간을 착각 속에
neomu oraen siganeul chakgak soge
홀로 바보처럼 살았죠
hollo babocheoreom saratjyo
아직도 내 그녀는 날 보고
ajikdo nae geunyeoneun nal bogo
새 하얗게 웃고 있는데
sae hayake utgo inneunde

네가 입은 웨딩드레스
nega ibeun wedingdeureseu
네가 입은 웨딩드레스
nega ibeun wedingdeureseu
네가 입은 웨딩드레스
nega ibeun wedingdeureseu

2009-12-30T15:12:00.001+08:00

I just realise i have been dwelling in my thoughts
Wrong thoughts,
Wrong thinking.
I need to wake up
And i have...
I'm still growing
When i thought i always think for people,
but sometimes choices is to hurt people.

The choice you made
The thoughts i have
selfish thoughts

I thought i could not hurt anyone
But yet i'm hurting again...

When then i can be GOD!
Joke

I never wanted to grow up
Growing up early
learning so much things
thinking for people
i thought i did it

Now i realise how small i am
how much things i couldn't do

Simple things
Hurt someone

2009-12-28T14:15:00.003+08:00

I'm lost
searching for my soul

What am i finding exactly?

I don't know
suddenly my fire is gone
I don't know what i yearn for anymore

...
nothing

I don't yearn for anything

Maybe too much suppressing

I suppress each and every feeling

I'm to my max soon
again
maybe
nowadays i become weaker

Suppress isn't good
but neither i wanna to say it or show it

Maybe is the pain i suffered

Made me just wanna the alter ego of me
Alter ego

completely different from who am i
maintaining someone isn't you

isn't simple

but why do i feel so complicated?
when something is just so simple.
For example
i just have to say out

No means no

As in what i'm feeling now
what im suppressing is my feeling

simple don't think

yes i don't think
but sometimes simply cant helped it

especially when you're alone

like..now

anticipating
waiting
hoping
searching
yearning
wanting
wishing

I suppress the feeling i have
because i don't want that feeling to overtake me
and i would end up hurting like i did once
for me i will never show
even though i show it's never complete
i will hide
as much as possible
i won't say i love you
unless
i mean it
i won't because i don't wanna show
sometimes it's obvious
so i tend to find others ways to hide
hide away from my emotions
emotions are redundant
i don't need and neither i want it
worst when it overpowered me and i felt weak being controlled by my own emotions

simple

"I cant love you, I don't want to love you but i love you"
Simple sentence yet complicated

Just a sentence
nothing much
aww

i'm so busy that i seldom blog

2009-12-28T00:17:00.002+08:00

Pondering and wondering
Sigh
It's like happening again (:
Haven't i been blogging
well that's because i'm so busy

Things never go the way i wanted
I'm kinda suay
Season parking and road tax kena stolen
for fuck!
tmd...
sigh.. what to do???

kinda emo
Today got scolded at work
for my relanctancy
what am i thinking
why am i doing the wrongs things when i know im wrong?
Hahaha..
Maybe cause i'm thinking too much again
Stupid me...

Where is the love??
So feel like writing something
like so long never write
like wanna write a story

would you believe if i tell you i love you?
hahaha.. nah lousy story
as in for a title..
or was this something i wanna say LOL!!!
make a guess (:

2009-12-15T12:24:00.002+08:00

My laptop has been down these few days
ultra broke these few days sigh.
Everyday was filled was filled with
"I have to study"
Even though i'm having holiday now
Life is like studying daily, working

I don't looked forward to days like x'mas
it doesn't excite me anymore

People are in and outta each's person life
sometime you realise you are also just a stepping stone to someone's life
you're there at some point to make someone grow a lil?

or maybe you just meant to pass by that person...

did a body analysis
I'm normal with my whole body!
Except i'm over at somewhere (:
My left arm muscles!
and my body muscles mass was over too!
HAHHAAH!!

So happy!

Can i make my mark to become a better me?
sometime i just so disappoint in everything
people ard me changing
when i realise that well..
HAHAHAHA

nothing

2009-12-11T13:05:00.002+08:00

I think of you a few times a day
And what you always tell me, "You're the love of my life"
How I think of you, how I love you
I've told you that it's all real

But I knew how you were feeling
Even though you deny it, you've changed
But I cherish you, I can't let you go
Till the end with you, because you're the only one for me

But you weren't the only one who was shaken
Now I forget all those thoughts because I'm so sorry baby baby

Even though it's hard for me, I won't leave your side, baby
Even though you want us to end, I will still be your lady
Even though you drink and don't call,
Stop thinking of other girls, come back to me,
and you look at only me too

Tonight I waited for you again
I couldn't help the falling tears

I thought the trust I had for you would soon be gone
And I was scared, because it had become true

Whenever I see you having a hard time because of me
I've thought about letting you go
But loving someone other than you
is something I can't do, I want to be with you

I hate myself for being selfish
I'm sorry but I keep wanting to hold on to you more and more baby baby

I just want to keep you by my side
I always think of only myself
And it drives you crazy, baby

But just how you want me to stay pure,
I want you to do the same
I want to be your last girl

look at only me

2009-12-11T12:57:00.002+08:00

Update bout my life!
Bored these few days
was bout sch sch sch and just...school!

Laptop crash on tue
Back ache...
did accupunture
f.king pain
went down acer for repair due to 10 dec UT!
damnit
went down AND my laptop is healed!
KNN!

waste my whole trip!

spend freaking don't know how many hours did my character design UT

how i yearn to sleep well

im just freaking tired
i need a rest
YET
on coming production coming on during holiday for filming
GOD!

busy busy
i need a break from work...

i gonna die soon
"accomplish your dreams"

2009-12-11T09:56:00.001+08:00

Busy busy busy
UT grades for art of story is disheartening
aww
SADDEN!
Character design was okay ONLY
sigh

busy with school
Portfolio
bla..
i want to take a long break

sorry peeps if i take a longer time to reply
(:

2009-12-09T20:37:00.000+08:00

Keekee: "you don't run away and text me ask why i meet MUSHROOM!"

2009-12-08T11:11:00.001+08:00

Painting left un-done
Not planning to do i think
i scare i do wrong on canvas..

2009-12-07T08:18:00.001+08:00

So long since i blogged
so so so busy
yet i put i work so many days for the 2 weeks
am i stupid?
LOL

GOSH!

Yikes!

Rushing to work
10-4pm
WOW!!

i'm so tired

AHHHHH...
fat fat fat le!!

Cut hair (:
shall upload my photos soon (:

2009-12-01T03:54:00.002+08:00

Finally chiong finished my Flash animation for web page banner ONLY
Guess what i just vomited,
didn't feel well
Don't know why
suddenly feel like vomiting and i just vomited.

God disgusting lah..

Atrocious!

I'm so not feeling well,
Gonna chiong my webpage
Gonna chiong work for money
Gonna chiong on Mascot
Gonna chiong and learn more bout photography
Gonna chiong for each and every contest availble
I'm gonna die of chiong-ing

No one see my efforts ):

sigh...

I still feel like vomiting
I'm getting weak,
Fuck!

sigh...

2009-11-30T16:42:00.001+08:00

!!! Re-do Portfolio webpage cause i can't open the old files
KNS!
Damnit!!!!

2009-11-26T16:18:00.002+08:00

I'm piss, i have been like so guilty that i can't make it for work
Now what? I giving excuses?
Initially me and Yt DID NOT EVEN PUT THOSE SCHEDULE.
Yes, late, we submit our schedule late.

But yes, i did said earlier like on sun about thurs
I didn't want to put NOT BECAUSE I DO NOT WANT TO HELP!
damn shit!
Is i have too many deadline,
And I REALLY HAVE TO GO THE EXHIBITON!
DAMN, i RUSH already!!
Fri and sat working already

I have been Freaking good enough to NEVER DO NOT WORK ON FRI AND SAT!
ONLY THAT TIME!
Yanning Bdae...

Yes, i never say it wasn't our fault to put schedule late
but if we did inform then was it our fault already?
Hello no one say is your fault.
but WHAT IF it was IMPORTANT!

Weight the importance of things
School or PT job?
Yes i know it's a fucking responsiblity
BUT I HAVE SO SO SO SO SO MANY THINGS HAVEN DONE,
LIKE REALLY HAVE DEADLINES TO MEET
TMD TMD TMD!!

So these are called excuses?!

Now what using pay to like scare us?
i don't freaking give a damn bout money if things is like
i'm stubborn
i never give up the things that i want to pursue
if i dim is important and i have to do it.
I WILL DO ANYTHING TO DO IT!

yes! I'm so freaking stubborn.
But these is important to me..
I need go the tutorial!!
YES IS A YES

2009-11-22T05:26:00.002+08:00

I realise this afternoon that i'm madly in love with someone...
I like this sentence (:

Anyway, is my brain failing?
i don't know
My brain and muscle,
i'm scare

Maybe i'm just scaring myself...

Just finish copying SOP
God, i'm tired
But copying and remembering is different (:

Dropped a water glass today
Lucky guest is good enough
I held it
Just like i normally did
but when i put it,
it just slipped and dropped

This is not the first time
but is the first time it really broke
sometimes,
i put the glass
yet,
it didn't goes to the place i wanted to

brain can't control my muscles?

I don't know
My right brain doesn't seems to function well
I have strength...
I have...maybe i don't

Just say about squeezing the damn whipped cream
My hands shiver
Not normal shivering
I don't know why
This is also not the first time

Remember when i played ball
This happens when i held a light stuff
can you believe it?

Maybe i smoke too much
Maybe...

Tomorrow gonna be in bar
I have RP mascot yet to design

I have my dreams
but it seems to drift

I have lots of uncompleted work
but i have a job

I need money
I finally found a solution
but my parents stop me

obstacles that i have to overcome
i'm a free thinker now
yet,
sometimes i wonder
is god testing me?

My life isn't that bad as compared
but can't i have a better one?

How do i make it better?

Can i succeed?

Pondering
Wondering
Hoping
Giving
Taking

Will i mark up to the top someday?

I would say yes
I want to say yes
but can i?

I hope i have much more confidence

Yes i have?

Or do i not have?

I'm contridicting my life
Yes, i'm
Because life doesn't always goes the way you want it to
Maybe it does
But it doesn't

Complicated thinking i have
yet it's so simple
Do i need a chance
or do i need to create a chance?
Can i grab it?
Or have i lose it?

I wonder again...

Those chances that i didn't grab
will it surface again?
no, maybe it doesn't
Alethia told me once
But i forgot what she said
but the meaning kept inside
maybe i shouldn't mention
it's a memory

no it's a lesson

Chances are made
and when chances are made
you have to grab it
before it's too late

But not everything is too late
because somethings are just there
BUT
have you ever turned back and looked at it?
have you just stretch out your hand and grab it?
somethings are just left behind
all you need to do is to open your heart
stretch out your hand
it will be back

But simple things is
have you ever turn around and look at your surrounding?
Appreciate them?

Yes?
No?
The choice is yours
the chance is yours
do you want it?
or do you want it to slipped away

Have you ever regret?
Why?

Think....

2009-11-21T12:59:00.002+08:00

Im so stress up about school
suddenly i have sooOOo many things left undone
what worst is the shocking thing i see
Next week work scheldue
Okay i know it's eve
it's 1.5 extra pay

BUT...

*sigh

Sun 3-11 (M/bar)
Mon off (Can catch up with the RP mascot thingy)
Tue 6-11 (RP mascot and webpage gone) *sigh i usually DO NOT WORK on tue and thurs de luh due to car pract last time
Wed 6-11 (M/bar * If i'm not wrong)
Thurs 6-11 (THURS I SOMPA I REALLY GOT THINGS ON, THE PHOTOGRAPHY TALK THAT I DIE,CRAWL ALSO HAVE TO GO! THEN AFTER THAT TALK I ALREADY DECIDED THAT DAY SINCE I NO WORK I HAVE TO GO DOWN SUNTEC FOR THE PORTFOLIO EXHIBITION!)

Now how? Die luh then i realise, nearly all the stuff is due date on Nov 30!! TMD!!

Stress *****

Then have to remember SOP GRRRR

Fri 3-11
Sat 3-11

GOD!!!!

I off only one day MONDAY!
I thurs die also cant work ):
aiyah i don't know how to say lah...
im just so stress up myself
fuck me

2009-11-17T19:29:00.002+08:00

Piss damn piss..
don't know for what damn reason in particular too
maybe i do
damn!

I just felt irritated
Don't know why
Cause like disappoint comes one another
FUCK!

Human are just so realistic
never ask me to T**** again man
cause i never will

Human are so influencial

Who to believe
what to believe
how to believe
damn
damn..
don't ask me
i don't know
i see what i see
i believe in only what i see

don't tell me anymore
i only believe in what i see
felt stupid
always stupid

i know
damn it!
CCB!!
IM SO FUCKING PISS THAT I WISH TO VEND MY FUCKING ANGER ON MY HANDS
but that would meant that im childish

DAMN IT!
SO MAKE ME ARGH!!!
FORGET IT!

Why am i so piss off anyway
im so contridicting
KAO!!

tired
think i should rest

the good people usually are those stupid ones
while those dim to be inncocent are those always whom are the...you know what
i knew it all along
yet im always making the same mistake
i trust people too easily

i think too much
i shouldn't even give a damn
aww fuck lah...

zZzz shall sleep and fuck off

2009-11-17T11:24:00.001+08:00

It's hard to trust again
i'm so scare of everything
im just so disappointed already

same things happen over and over again
I just feeling that why must all these happen?

Being the good is bad
so maybe i should try being bad

I hate being good yet being said
Yes i dislike to be hate
like duh?
who doesn't?
which idiot will goes ard saying
"hate me pls"
Hahaha..

Forget it man
i have far more disappointment than this
i trust people easily
my greatest weakness was used
so it just feels fucked up

That's why i never wanted to believe nor trust anyone..

I believe in what i see

2009-11-16T02:41:00.002+08:00

Haven't been updating lately
having a headache now suddenly
like so long since i've had a headache?

Sigh...
If i could choose my way
If i can be more regconise
If i can be stronger
If i'm richer
what if...
im
but i'm not

2009-11-10T11:00:00.002+08:00

Having car practical later
I'm so busy as usual
sigh...

2009-11-09T01:05:00.002+08:00

Summary of today:
- Still coughing
- Back ache like shit
- YT, Xinni said i looked pale when working

ha ha well as usual I'm outdoor at night
wow 8pm then break (:
not bad...

In the middle of work,
was asked to bike down to clark quay TCC
took red wine
bike back
aww my cash card $$$$$$
well..I'm okay with it though

Tomorrow having car practical till
then study and do PD
I'm busy
ultimate busy ):

I don't want think bad if what may happen to my back
it's normal isn't it?
lots of people have back bone problem didn't they?
it's okay de right?
i guess so,
so mine should be okay

just scare i will have to spend on medical bills on my stupid back
i know my parents couldn't afford to helped me
i know
kinda sad when i told my dad
yet he still asked me to go for appointment
i was like hoping he won't
at least he could save those unnecessary money for himself
though times i may look as if i do not think for them
but deep down i do

I have so much things that i want and need
Mac book pro
DSLR Nikkon

Yet i have to spend on these
i find this suck
why i seems as if i couldn't help them yet spend money
GOD!
how i wish the sky drop a few thousand it would be at least enough for now
ya, i know...dream on *sigh

realise when i was working
standing that time
back affected every where
my legs
my back

pain
yet i kept quiet
i shouldn't make a big fuss
i shouldn't even blog
maybe...
it's nothing
just a back ache (:

2009-11-08T12:43:00.002+08:00

Wheee... Left my cough to recover
Working later at 4pm
pengz!

Tomorrow having UT
so after work = CHIONG BACK HOME!

Very very busy me
but i can still cope i guess
i can't give up and won't give up doing things i like
never...

Those lost chance on people...
Let it be...
concentrate on my future
no point crying over split milk (:

Appointment at TTSH
Jan 20th 2.20pm be there 30min earlier
I SCARE I FORGET!
Hope i can change to a earlier date
cause i will be having school then

I wanna be successful in future!! (:

2009-11-07T17:55:00.002+08:00

Sorry for some idiotic fans that wants me to update on the movie summary on "Jennifer's body"
due to i'm busy doing some on going projects which i'm very distracted aww

Jennifer's body by:

Director:
Karyn Kusama

Writen by:
Diablo Cody

Starring:

Megan Fox as Jennifer

Amanda Seyfried as Needy

Johnny Simmons as chip

Summary:
So basically this show is about a normal high school girl, Jennifer and her best friend went to this pub and the band (low shoulder) whom was performing at the pub was filled with greed and thus brought Jennifer to a waterfall that no matter what you throw things down, it just never get surfaced.
So Low shoulder decided to scarific jennifer body's to the satan and did an occur and then killed her.
So typically jennifer did not die, but got the satanic powers which in turn she become a demon that have to depend on flesh.
From friends to foe, jennifer killed chip (needy boyfriend).
Before jennifer died, she bite needy and thus sort of like transfer the demonic powers to needy and there the story goes.

MPV (My point of view)
So as you can see from the above summary, you would slightly got the idea of the show. Well, i think this story was not bad on rating 3:5
At first it showed that needy was already in the prison which creates a impression that she was create then they showed the flash back.
Which was good, also shows that the character have it's alter ego and ego traits.
The climax of the show was maybe when BFF kills each other, in a way it didn't show.
But when needy pulled out the BFF necklace out from Jennifer, it sort of like hurt her in a way that; they are best friends and she doesn't want to do it BUT she have to do it those show. (Subtext)
okay while the twist was a good one, it have 2 one was jennifer suddenly came back bloody at needy's house and the other was when needy become the demon herself.

Well, it's not a bad movie nor very good story line i guess. As the ending was quite stereotype as in predictable.

well for needy's part it create more depth for the characeter to grow while jennifer doesn't have much depth.

well, so that's my comment and summary.

See you guys next time on PENGZ09.blogspot.com

LOG ON TO FIND OUT MORE

Oh i created a Flickr stay tuned on Flickr and fotologue to find out more of my photographs. Need some comments to improve dude/babes (:

2009-11-06T01:05:00.003+08:00

Damn i hate vulgarities
yet i keep saying them like every puncuation mark
Fuck that Yk whom have nothing better to do
BUT ASK FUCKING QUESTION AND SAY FUCKING THINGS!
not i like to say about you
hello
imagine you are so fucked up already
YOU SUDDENLY GO SAY I WITH WHICH PERSON AGAIN HERE AND THERE

Hello your fucking problem is it?
Don't make me hate you
damnit!
Don't drag people inside this picture when is you and me quarrel
fucking complain SLUT!
i dare blog and say you
wheras you ?!

Go complain SECRETLY HUH?
actually don't need secretly i know your f.pattern

HELLO ??!?!?! grow up

When you say me i never even tell a single fucking soul
nor complain
now im fucking piss off with you i blogged!
knn!

hope you rot in hell

2009-11-06T00:21:00.002+08:00

Fuck lah seriously all come one goal knn who can take it
things happen one by one

Morning near afternoon which is the one i blogged
then i suddenly kana said the SAME THINGS AGAIN!
fuck luh
WHAT I DO NOW EH!
then, this fucking cb bitch DON'T UNDERSTAND IS I DON'T WANT GO DOWN ALREADY
CAUSE BEFORE THAT I FEEL HOT AND GOT FEVER AGAIN AND I JUST F.KING WOKE UP!!
Then i told that bitch i doing thing on phone so loud text me what fucking shit
COMPLAIN TO PEOPLE SOME MORE
HELLO ARE YOU A FUCKING SLUT?!
damn!!
EVERYTHING COME ONE GOAL I FUCKING STRESS THEN DO WHAT?!
GO AND DIE?! KNN

STOP IT CAN!
HELLO!!!

When EACH AND EVERYONE DON'T FUCKING KNOW WHAT I THINKING THEN DON'T SAY ME!!

2009-11-05T20:17:00.002+08:00

Updated fotologue (:
Peeps feel free go browse at my gallery

I thought i don't care
yet droplets flow from the side covering the retina of the eye

But

I'm okay

School today was fun
with some bad smoking experience

Photocopied all my notes
did some touch up to my art pieces (:
Work made me totally no time to update my art work
and portfolio
guess i should give lesser schedule

I'm recovering soon
or maybe recovered ?
Haha..imagine when i see the doctor i don't even know i have fever
just felt hot and unwell
i thought im okay
but guess i'm not
thought only others are cold when they touches me
but in fact it's me thaat is hot
bought marlboro ice blast
hahah.. DAMN cold!
not really fancy "chill" cig now

Having sore throat getting worst

shall continue doing my webpage

Acer is gonna die soon ):
Hope some rich man/woman can be my sugar daddy/mommy
or i become "bung gigolo"
Earn lots of money to get those 2 things that i'm ULTIMATELY SHORT OF!

Bike i think collecting tomorrow
Sigh no money!

How to redeem..
i will find my ways i guess

I just don't get what some are thinking.

2009-11-05T11:15:00.002+08:00

Share this,
can you exactly tell someone who is the most precious to you?
Life is tough.
What is precious to you may not be the same for others

slept through the whole 1st break out
now feeling at least a little better
asked zhen yu to da bao for me
grilled fish with cheez tofu and big milk tea
gosh..

okay i think im dying
Im sick
the one beside me rabin i think i pass to him few days back is also sick!
so typically everyone in class is gonna be sick
cus out of 5 my group whom is REAL healthy i think is 2:5
so ratio is 2 healthy and 3 sick!

I know the feeling of having to be strong no matter how much you want to fall
No choice
i'm bung don't want to admit im weak no matter what
i won't..

If you realise by now
i have high sense of pride in these sense

To me now
i just want to excel in life
be successful
no one to stop and never will i let anyone to
i know im weak
but i shall turn it into a motivation for me to carry on to excel.

2009-11-04T21:56:00.002+08:00

Finally finish my RJ but not my stuff,
think i would have to rest more and put lesser schedule.

Finally i've had fever until i don't know
hahahaha pengz
Well school ended late
end at 8pm well,
partcially my fault for not checking the announcement earlier that's why i don't know
that today i have to stay in school for stuff till 8pm
complusory somemore
cause it's a component for UT (understanding test)

I'm so tired
really im
god i gain weight think i need to slim down again ):

2009-11-04T21:56:00.001+08:00

2009-11-02T15:11:00.000+08:00

im sick fuck

Phobia

2009-11-02T04:16:00.003+08:00

Finally i realise we are a bunch of fools
being blind by love
being not able to differentiate
as the saying goes, we are just...執著多親

Finally i realise,
it isn't that we are stupid
but we just let emotions get the better of us
i guess this is the first and the last
this happen to me
phobia...

It's like everything has gone silent
yet i can still sense the excruciating pain
to think that we can still be friends but i doubt so

i look forward to my every step of success
i know if i succeed i can be a better me
and get a better future

i ponder on thoughts
on why human being are so selfish
because it's their thought to help themselves come first
then they put people on their second thoughts
...
not all but some are like that
not towards everyone
but the selected ones
i guess some people just have to be selected
and i think I'm just one of the puzzle in your life

once I'm being piece
I'm just that piece among other pieces
neither am i the last nor the first
just some random pieces that need to complete the whole picture before you know
which would be the last piece

never will you understand nor know who I'm referring to
cause it's simply you don't care nor even treasure these friendship even...
a tiny winy bit
I'm just so stupid to cling on this friendship

Life is tough
the more you want
the more it's harder to achieve
sometimes 100% doesn't guarantee success

Think i have given up hope
totally devastated

the first time i have given up friends
and i say... F.r.i.e.n.d.

I'm just so disappointed in everything
every single thing
that contains bout you
damnit
hahahaa..knowing that you don't give a single damn about it

actually i know
i know what have been happening around
i just kept quiet

maybe some i don't but most i know
i hate myself for clinging on
i will let go...
let go even as a friend

I used to think positively about friend
now i give it a second thoughts

It's lucky it happen too fast for me to capture
damn
i hate it

I always thought towards love i have the right opinion
but i'm wrong

My 1st i tried to forget using someone
which is older then me
i tried,
i thought it was love but it isn't
i thought that by trying to like or let your emotions run while to
have feelings for who i want to forget the pain you suffered was right
but i guess i'm wrong
maybe..
maybe this is using someone

sigh..

now i realise how sucha f.king person i'm
because i have felt being the one being used
maybe not to forget but just to "play"

To me
i'll never ever believe that someone can love me until words and actions are done
because for words only it's hard
even harder to know
i would go and and being say how much i love you
WITH actions done...
i can't take it
yet i have
...
f.king ridiculous

You'll never understand cause never will you even want to...
i just hate why must fate being so cruel to meet after so long (:
everyone is fine but not you

2009-11-01T03:31:00.002+08:00

I think i gonna stop caring even as a normal person
i do not want to seems like im so despo in your eyes
to you to show others like im just a despo because im not

i have move on and be who im
we might find a place in this world someday
but i doubt that this day wouldn't come
because i don't even dare to think of that

i know we would never see face to face ever again

my heart has died since that day
when i knew everything
i have been back to square one since that fateful day

when i know all my hopes are dash
since that day i have already go my own way

i didn't denied that yes im sad that all these have to happen
till now
sometime i kept wondering
how can someone change so fast
i just don't understand

but
it's over

what happen have already happen
we have our worlds to live
i just know too much to not move on
i just don't belong to your world

long time ago
we met, fate bought us to meet again some years later
but...
never the less you or i will never be in the same circle
you're just part and parcel of my life
we're each other stepping stone in life
one you pass that stone
we will never meet again
maybe later in life the same stepping stone might appear but for now
i know this stone have past

i just do not want to seems despo cause im not
i not this kinda of people
this feeling just hurts...

2009-10-31T05:32:00.002+08:00

Wet wet wet!
It started raining after work
as i looked up into the skies
different thought flashes across my mind
wondering if the rain is tearing in place of me

endless droplets that falls
like the tears i longing to tear
from the hurt inside me unconstraintly held

i wonder if every droplets that fall
does those tiny water molecules also have feelings of hurt
does it hurt to hit the road?
i wonder...

i tried to omit every single feeling i have
Take away my soul,
take away my heart
love is a game that has a price to pay
the more love you have given the harder you will fall
the higher price you would have to pay

sigh
think im having flu again
sick...
i can't afford to fall sick
i have to be strong
PENGZ!!

pengz can do it no matter what crisis i fall
i have pass so many test in life
each and every obstacles in life
makes me grow
mould me to who im now

i have to grow
somehow sometimes the way i talk seems i have matured
mature till kinda scary
of how much i have grown to understand
only people that really sit down and listen
would get the beneficial to know who and how i really think and grow

maybe someone knows
and im glad already

detested to be said who doesn't?
don't play mind games with me for i understand yet i won't have actions done
all i want is someone true
true to the heart
tell me
i need to know
where and how can i improve
for my heart isn't strong to witstand all these alone

when i don't say doesn't mean i don't think
i know
yet i don't show

im sick..

2009-10-29T10:10:00.002+08:00

Shin last day...
aww ):
more and more peeps are going ~>.<~
im so god damn bored
lucky me yesterday wasn't outdoor
if yesterday outdoor

GOD i'll be hella of damn sian!

Got my pay
and returned the money
relieve that i relief one of my burden (:

Later going to study before that getting materials
aww

I want do more photoshoots
i need a DSLR and Mac book pro ):

2009-10-28T00:31:00.003+08:00

Love taking pictures,
but people say not for a career
maybe i should find a freelance (:
should jia extra you to find someone to teach me
aww
i just have so much dreams to fulfil
life with so much goals
sometimes just stress me up like fuck (:
nevertheless i should keep buck up
For my dream..

Photos i like...

2009-10-27T15:45:00.001+08:00

sigh talk about sad stuff
asked for mac book pro 15"
$3688
If installment 4 years per month $171
BUT end of 4 years i would have already pay 8k!
do you think im a fuck dumb?
sigh!!

sad sigh,
i cannot take it already luh
very sleepy ):

2009-10-27T15:40:00.002+08:00

Dot my previous post not post by me duh!
pengz
im so tired that i slept in school sofa and was woke up by my faci
LOL!
dot ultra tired-ness sigh
im so dead and dying hahhaa

Portfolio should start soon!
now in class
was busy today doing lame stuff in school
full of laughter!! (:

2009-10-27T14:44:00.000+08:00

i think cindy keong man ling is a nice girl and the prettiest girl ever.

2009-10-26T16:52:00.001+08:00

stomach flu...
sigh...
fucked up life
god damnit...
i can't find REPLACEMENT!! CCB!
HOW?!?!

6.30pm got thing till 8.30pm DIE ALSO MUST GO ???
HOW?!?!?!?!?!?!
AIYAHHHHHHH
GOD
i must be responsible for schedule
BUT HOR!!
AIYAH!!

FUCKKKKKK dilemma
school?
work?
school?
work?
...
....
.....
......
.....
....
...
..
.
school bah ):

2009-10-26T04:54:00.002+08:00

I'll never let anyone looked down,
This is my ever going spirit!
Study work study
I'm gonna die of tiredness someday ):

Finally i decided on the web page to start
finally ideas flowing but how to execute it would be another headache ):

love comes love goes so fast like a blink of light
i can't predict anything same goes for the future
maybe now i don't love doesn't mean i won't

things left behind shall let it pass
i know way lots of things
and i'm gonna break down soon

money issue big problem
damn, i hate people say i use them
hate it
i want it i will do it!
god damn people
please if you don't know me stop judging me
from an outsider view you may not know what left unspoken

thoughts and everything
i'm just sick and tired
of everything

To love..hurts to be love..hurts too
to fall in love when someone do not love you already you or do not at all hurts
so what doesn't hurt?

someone told me never give up someone you love
i think sometimes letting go is a chance to let you grow

Love is just another part and parcel of life
because,
someone once wrote on my foolscap paper
love is not everything
true...
yet humans are just so emotional
we have the emotions
we know who care and love us
and touched by the love
YET
we can choose to suppress everything down

whatever im tired
zZzz sigh

2009-10-24T12:52:00.002+08:00

Lots of thoughts, it's just im just too cramp with my thoughts
Sigh life is just so ... sucky when it's like that
i don't usually speak out in my blog directly of what i feel,
sometimes i don't know lah!

Vexed all the time
money issue is the big issue
it kills and im suffocating with money!
damnit
why aren't i born rich?

But maybe if im,
my life would be different
i won't learn to be what im now

sigh...

It's hurts a lot...

sometimes i think my life is utterly messed up
how do i clean up the mess
what...
what is the key thing to be more clever ?
i need a more colourful life
but seems partial memories are fading...

i hope i always tell people bout my life in hope one day i can ask them back what's my life in the past...
vex..ultimate vex-ness

dear PB LOL!!
hope you have fun during the celebration ytd (:

2009-10-24T12:33:00.002+08:00

I love this shot! Taken by me =X

Currently having low blood feeling damn sucky
later gonna take bus for 1st time after i got my bike
Later meeting YT at khatib 1.40pm hahaha!!
im hungry yet i don't feel like eating

i wanna earn lots of money!
GOD yesterday went or royston tan talk
awesome !
hahaha. but he is just another ordinary chap too
so maybe i can do it too, just like him eh?
hope to become someone that's you know GOOD!

sigh..

I need LOTS OF MONEY!

I WANT WORK !!!
im not feeling awesome-ly well ):

2009-10-22T14:54:00.001+08:00

If there were no words
No way to speak
I would still hear you

If there were no tears
No way to feel inside
I'd still feel for you

And even if the sun refuse to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart
Until the end of time
You're all i need
My love, my valentine

All of my life
I have been waiting for
All you give to me
You've opened my eyes
And showed me how to love unselfishly

I've dreamed of this a thousand times before
In my dreams i couldnt love you more
I will give you my heart
Until the end of time
You're all i need
My love, my valentine

La da da
Da da da da

And even if the sun refuse to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart
Until the end of time
Cuz all i need
Is you, my valentine

You're all i need
My love, my valentine

2009-10-22T03:27:00.002+08:00

Just came back to 921
since so long since i drank maybe aft Yn bdae @ chalet
i don't fancy to drink neither i want to
just realise i smoke more and more
GOD!

Tomorrow gonna go find my mom after sch (:
told her about it she seems cool

sigh
bout my mom
i have nth to say
except i ain filial enough i think
sigh

i gonna earn more money
on my art items simply cost me more then hundred
sigh
im broke after i got my recent pay again

Mac book pro and DSLR seems further
i got to hear from my bro that WE have a opportunity to earn money
(: shall not mention it
hahah i so wanna be duck now to earn money ASAP
im so in need !!

I came to a realisation that love slip away too fast to realise
and i also think that,
no matter how well i do
i can never blend into some one's life
my life is either work or school
being in difficult shoes if i have a partner i guess
i won't have time to meet em up i guess
maybe for those that came down like my bro to do work together
HAHAHA.. but that's my bro only (:

PD rejected have to redo sigh
damn you lam fung
YEAH! tomorrow my DSLR is ready to be collected !
god damn im so excited!

Gonna have a holiday session to take pictures!
for my portfolio
i want to be hardworking
im happy and fluttered that my faci said that i have potential yet...

Love comes and go
we have to give and take
let it go, open our hearts to let it in

Guess the chance have pass by again
or maybe the chance isn't mine @ all
times and times i just wanna know the truth
and times and times i knew the truth
truth aren't always so soothing as it seems
it hurts and make wonders

once again love slip away
some one told me never give up the person you love
i never did but i have to
but it's the past already
once i have put down my mind set, it's set

am i just so hard to guess?
rather i think im easiler to be cheated rather i cheat
(: sad to think this way but it's the truth
how many times do i have to let love slip away then i realise i really have to hold real tight
BUT at times when you hold real tight people just suffocate and leave

alright PD time
sigh...

2009-10-21T14:29:00.002+08:00

Times and time you helped me through
without any return you gave your love
no matter how many time i have forsaken you
you never fail to always be there for me
loving me with your all

You never failed to be so much stronger then i thought
with your all i only seen you cried twice
once i admitted to hospital
another is when i scolded you

Time is too short for me to accept but im and i will
this is part and parcel of life
why are you so strong
sometimes i only want you to tell me how you felt..

In need i will learn to be like you which i have the elements of you
to be so strong
in need,i will hide myself
to even smile

things just haven't happen to me
but once 21 it will start..
the thing that has always been inside me
reactivated risk when im 21

2009-10-21T10:11:00.002+08:00

... To that someone whom i love
You gave me everything how can i ever repay your love for me?
what can i do for you?
The days for you are getting shorter...

You will be gone sooner than i fucking thought
i heard the news
i cried...
i fucking cried..

2009-10-19T15:41:00.002+08:00

Went U.thomsam rd to eat prata @ prata house
with dez, xn, al, sz
hhaha.. crap there pengz LOL!

Hmm then after that bike to caltex to pump oil while dez fetch others home
hahah.. wanted to study end up nth much to study
chat with ky till late then zZZzzz LOL!

im so tired that i slept in class and didn't went for break!
Till now i smoke 1 only not bad...

2009-10-18T05:59:00.000+08:00

hahahaa.. work fun play
nothing to blog much..
sigh

wth.. tomorrow work
finally bought dreamweaver book (:
aww happy at last
gonna start portfolio
i gonna save up money god damnit!

2009-10-17T11:31:00.002+08:00

Why am i so stupid?
To think you really smile
to cant even see what you really thinking?

i will nvr ever look down on anyone
becus i know the feeling

i have so much to blog yet i cant say anything here
sigh...
sorry!

i know deep down what you are going through
i duno what i can do anymore...

i have.. so much to say...

2009-10-17T04:46:00.004+08:00

Nothing much happen
Thurs went car pract GOD!

after that went with sz bugis to meet yk, angeline poh, jas and oh god i forget the name
hahaha sz come ssdc find me (:
then bike down to bugis
found them
walked all the way to PS
GOD! my bag ultra heavy and they walk the ultra long way
Lasalle that road
hahaha me and sz admire lasalle a while then start on our journey again

Then met up with faith that group

went to last time bali house there food court ate ban mee shared with sz (:

after that i realise i FORGOT MY BIKE KEYS
god damn cab down then i run down carpark
luckily my keys are still there
hiak hiak
then home sweet home before that acc sz to take bus
saw shin and terence
talk a while..
HOME!

Today met up with zx hahaha
she pei me cut hair
then go bugis ate pasta mania
buy starbucks
buy wax
DOT! my money flies

she came in boutique to drink bleeding maggot GOD!
shocked!
i went for briefing and she's gone HAHAHHA!

im so tired
going end work i got flu till now
gonna be sick soon
hahaha
went allston hotel that foodcourt ate with yt, novia, pam, jo and her bf
then bike back with yt to lower seletar find
ky, sy, ann, james and eunice

then sit ann car
go khatib
yawn
then i slept at lower seletar after went back
then now home im ultra TIRED!

gonna sleep!
i feel so sick now
sigh
yeah uploaded photos in facebook (:

2009-10-14T18:03:00.004+08:00

I shall not blog about unhappiness

I only say i won't attitude people UN-necessary
and the person till now so far i would attitude the one and only would be YK
im not as childish as people think
maybe .. never mind i shall not say anymore

I have **** enough
Till i have none...
hahaha..

I have lots of work to do,
finally submitted my proposal (:

Happy and i have lots of projects to do
god damn i will be so damn busy nowadays..

Till then i hope to study hard
reach the goal i have set
the plan we have set
towards that goal of capital
towards my goal
i know if i want i can
i just have to go for it and try my very best (:
to achieve goals

R/s i already think through
how many tears i have shed
that person also wouldn't know (:
so better off alone back to square one
rather then this i would rather love someone whom will
appreaciate and treasure (:

neglected i can say
but seriously
...
i have accomplish my task given by your
my maturity have won (:

2009-10-14T12:48:00.003+08:00

once she hate everything would be solve...
Guess i have solve everything (:
Am i just so easy to see through
stupid to be clever?

im easily hurt
yet portray strong front
use my optimist ism
to cover up for me?

Yes i do not deny
i still do felt for you

hahaha..
just sad
just.. so feel like to start
but i won't...
to even let people have to opportunity to say im childish
never

treat the colder the better
i just don't know what the fuck have i done wrong

2009-10-10T20:28:00.002+08:00

Just came back to cancel my slot for Tue due to i can't work
forgotten I've got car practical aww
damn! and i don't dare say
like so last min
my responsibility to check yet i didn't aww
HOW?!

Called Terence to change
he can, but i don't dare tell my sm aww
GOD!

phew going bugis later (:
to collect my memory card hahahah!!

aww
PD proposal submission on 15th i hope i can make it
damn my supervisor is so sucks
He like don't know anything
and want me to know through briefing
to think how my portfolio would look like
i think it's = japalang!
Hahahah i would include everything im interested!
i wanna be a director cum photographer (:

Things have or haven't gotten better.
Things may or may not be the same
but im just hoping that nature takes the best course of life
time have it's tides and downs
things doesn't always goes the way you want to,
so the right time i would do the right thing

Friendly towards many people doesn't always goes good
it bring wrong attention
guess...i should be more fierce towards peeps HAHAHA JOKE PEEPS!
im just who im (:
so be it... HAHAH!!

I have goals in life
i would not let anything stop me from achieving my goals
may it be money
im going to get a pub job soon (:
hope i can find one that starts around 12 end 3 maybe 3 hours extra everyday is not a bad thing after all ahhahah!!
i need more money to get my DSLR and Mac book pro soon
total would be 4k plus GOD!
HOW AM I GONNA SAVE?!

Entertainment time!

The affection i have never stop
glowing beams of light seems to ever glow as brightly as ever
hope that time could be back till the time where feelings were develop
but if it may, i would also hope you get the "one"

Maybe through my actions
i seems to have affection for other
my insensitivity to you
cause things to turn out like that

i guess partially was my bad
things don't always goes the way people would want to
Feelings come and fade
doesn't it?
Too fast to be true for me
Too fast that i couldn't even catch my breath and it's gone

I may not be the "one"
yet im hoping that...things would go the way it goes
now may it be good or bad
i have no say
neither i wanted to say more

I know myself
too well too good to be true

I hope my pressence wouldn't be a disturbance to you
i just hope that, even if things turn out like this it would be better

To love the one that isn't loving you
the feeling i understand long ago
hurts it does hurts
keeping quiet isn't the best solution
this is also what i know long ago
but to always be there
and smile is hard
deep down we are just crying so hard
and forcing every smiles we have
hard isn't it?

I know i can,
i know i can overcome anything
did that done that
no matter how hard we have to
it's part and parcel of life

I always have the never give up attitude towards anything
but towards this i know forcing isn't the best solution (:

COPYrighted PENGZ!

gonna go out to bugis (:
maybe treat YN Dark D add 21 ice cream!! HAHAHAH!!
that fatty xD

2009-10-08T14:31:00.002+08:00

Seriously too tired
that i slept throughout the class,
sorry peeps that i contributed only at the end
GOD

Art of story module facilitator is my supervisor a Hongkie
pengz Lam fung think would have communication problem ):

Our story is so damn lame
because it's isn't my forte i guess alien dumb story

im so damn cold
and had been like wearing uniform to school like for don't know how many donkey days ):
pengz!
sigh...

Entertainment time

Too hard to speak
Too hurt to withstand
The only solution is to go
My way, to free myself

I had to,
Many a times things stopped me
yet i still have to

Things that i know,
compile together i get a full story
maybe not very full yet full

I have enough of the emotions
pain, frustrated
to be know im another normal self
gosh
how dumb or dumbest among
maybe im no the worst
maybe im just thinking too much

yeah..
i guess i do
straight to my heart
a single bullet shot through
cause im bleeding

This love has taken on me
she say i felt for you
yet you could take the words so seriously

yet when
you found out the story behind
then you will know
that you're not alone woahhh

You treat me like a rose
you give me room to grow
yet you tore me away unexpectedly
and when i know im too deep

Just fuck it baby
you know i couldn't stand this anymore

you give me strength so i stand tall
BUT
i guess i will never take it babe..
oh take it babe..
just like a rose
woahhhhh...

我爱的人
不是我的爱人

如果不能给他要的爱呢

我只好开始学着放弃了

那么一天看到他的日记

记者不是我们的故事了

看到你和她爱得很认真

我想我应该放弃了

我想的人已不再想我了

你想得人是她为什么要欺骗我

只能看着看着你的背影

在我的视线以漫漫的消失了

我想我该开始学放弃了

这样的痛苦是你给我的

我不想要就这样放弃了

因我无法再挽留了

我想的人以不再想我了

你想得人是她为什么要欺骗我

Lyrics below was some parts taken from the lyrics that i wrote for my music school
I took out to symbolise something apart

Never will you know the pain
the hurt you inflict
to whom it may concern
I don't get it till i piece up each and every pieces of the puzzle
i got the form
the shape
the notes
but not the "You know what it is"

Blind at the moment
yet i do not want to blindly see
i want to know

but it's gotta be alright babe (:

Copyright PENGZ

Limitation that i have...
HAHAHAH!!
i have way too much
fuck it baby (:
i have the urge to cut
yet i won't
because these only shows how childish im
how not grown up im only
so i just keep it (:

im okay baby..
i will be okay grr

everything is just so f.up
God...
maybe occurs to me

2009-10-08T04:01:00.002+08:00

What should i say
what can i say?
Anyway today upsell 6 liq on a wed !
pengz
but lousy on ice cream
did 2 add on 1 mash potato and the other i forgot
1 Espresso shot
still got what can't remember
after work went supper at bedok with dez, xin ni, al, shin-chan! LOL
crap a while follow dez call all da way till eunos familiar then i ride away

didn't went tao huay sorry peeps kinda tired also
so went home
tomorrow also got school and work
luckily fri no sch
i need a break
im fucking heartache by all these
why am i just so fucking stupid?
i don't blame peeps but myself.

Hahahha..
Isn't the first
i finally piece up every pieces of lost links
finally made up a whole picture

yes, sad
is sad
yet im a grown up
i know what im doing

(: peeps don't say im childish if you don't know me

im mature too
yet i can fool around (as in play but not with feelings)

hahaha..!

remember i was never a f.king flirt
things that i kept
seriously im dying inside

This time i really cannot go with the flow
im dying seriously
i couldn't no matter how hard i try

so i stop, i back out
sometimes
i just know how the outcomes would be...
and to know is kinda sad (:

so it's okay
stupid people im the most can trust de (:

but it's okay...

if you realise i've change
guess you didn't realise
i realise changes in you...
all i wanna say...
take care..
those i wouldn't say anymore...

pengz went back to square one ):

2009-10-07T15:49:00.002+08:00

Just utterly disappointed
sigh
Utterly seriously disappoint filled with disappointment.
i do not know how to say,
sigh

why?
Today Expression of form (:
fun! hahaha pengz i did quite well first time i did these type
stunt by myself
but still more to improve (:

HAHAHAH!!
God semester 2 is kinda fun,
and im just looking forward to it
hope i can excel to compensate my semester 1 GPA
GOD!!
BEYOND HOPE!

I hope and pray that what i know
isn't what i know yet
i guess what i know seems to be what i know
i know, i feel, im not stupid i guess
maybe im just stupid maybe
soft hearted
fuck myself man
im so so so utterly DISAPPOINTED!
sigh fuck my life

2009-10-07T03:47:00.002+08:00

Work was tired i typically slept during PD briefing
God i woke up the ang mo faci was STILL LECTURING!!
i went out to smoke ALONE! ):
sigh cause DNM briefing was today thus the other dip can go smoke
AND THAT YH PON SCHOOL!

Pengz GOD
Today production practicum
doing bout lighting
hahaha im more and more interested in becoming a photographer (:

Gosh i still do not know what to do or the PD
sigh...should e-mail my supervisor tomorrow AWW
GOD GIMMI BRAINS OF A GENIUS!

Well, work @ baby side
then push to main and baby and main and baby!
god im like a waste like no body wants
try hard to help sean as much as i could aww

Terence and Zhi Qiang came (:
they ate at main and when i work baby they went baby to drink and ate wedges again (:
help me in my upselling (:
was so touched

I nearly slept while working
lucky sean gave me drink ice latte dbl shot done by myself (:

reaching behind my mood was totally gone
actually i ain in good mood da whole day after school
neither am i these few days
sigh

don't ask why cause i don't know
and i don't know how to say

My wrist start to ache
like fuck...
but i never whine
nor make a damn noise
my face after back to main was black all the way
sorry if i looked like people owe my tonnes of money
hahahaha!!

sigh
i haven't slept yet

i wonder
wonder is people lying somewhere
wonder why would one lie
where does the problem lies
god help me find a solution to understand human
how i wish to study psychology
(which i want to when i was younger till i gave up medical field)

I guess everyone is lying
maybe not
somehow i understand yet i do not
it's complicated when one thinks too much
i choose not to think and escape into wonders and fantasy
yet when i woke up everything would be still on the dot
scary isn't it?

Human nature is just so complicated
Everyone knows YET do not know
cause you know why?
do you know how to ride a bicycle?
yes, but do you know how to fall from a bicycle?
it's a random thingy
a random occurance that makes us know eventually

Maybe i just hope people could and could not understand me
but seems like no one does
and you are just so complicated to understand
im tired blog tomorrow
night !!

2009-10-06T03:10:00.002+08:00

G-dragon (Heartbreaker)

A yo! finally! Is this what youve been waiting for?
brand new G.D! I'm all by myself but its all good
your my heartbreaker DJ and YG
Let me take this song here

I don't give in no matter what, the useful things still haven't died
Only you caused a broken body, dead dreams, lost heart
If it's for you, this one body will fly, will rush to where you're at
However you say goodbye and goodbye to me

I said what's the reason you don't want me
Tell me all about your confident (facial) expressions, do it sadly
Even if I say alright or ask for a chance
I don't like the cold look in your eyes when you turn around once

*No no
Yo ma heart heart heart heart heart breaker
What did I do wrong
Yo ma heart heart heart heart heart breaker
No way no way

I say I'm leaving, I'm really going
To see if you can live well [without me]

This is tedious, this is not going smoothly
My heart's tragedy no way

I ask the same every day, you say that I've changed
Will you please shut your mouth
You speak while knowing who you're talking to
Now I'm out of control, constantly while being alone
In that spot, that place, it's goodbye and goodbye

I said what's the reason you don't want me
Tell me all about your confident (facial) expressions, do it sadly
Even if I say alright or ask for a chance
I hate the cold smile you have when you turn around once

*repeat

I say I'm leaving, I'm really going
To see if you can live well [without me]

This is tedious, this is not going smoothly
My heart's tragedy no way

I'll still be there (inside your turned off phone)
I'll still be there (at the mailbox in front of my house)
You..I still...(even if we're "strangers" now)
I will still be there

Let's be together, those words
It's only sweet for a little while
Why do you not care when
Hey! I'm hurting this much

*repeat

Yo ma heart heart heart breaker breaker
Yo ma heart heart heart breaker breaker
H.e.a.r.t. breaker no way

Nice song by big bang leader G-dragon
First solo album
Heartbreaker

Sigh You're my Ultimate heartbreaker
sigh
another sleepless night i think
Tomorrow working
went TCC to eat my mozza tofu
Dez (HOB aka. SM aka. store manger or Head of boutique) treat me drink my fav caramel azuki frap w/o whip cream and treat me and suez marble cheese cake with vanilla ice cream.
shocking
Thanks a lot!
Got discount too

went to study before that went bras bersa centre to get stuff from art friend and popular
whole thingy cost around 30 bucks?
God..
im so damn f.broke
aww

after that then went TCC to eat
do finish my character design journal
haven't read my pre-reading
hopefully i will remember to read
God im just too tired that i typically fell asleep @ TCC before my drink come
hahaha
sorry but im just too tired
lucky my body can still take it
THANK GOD

sigh
lots to say
but i will not type anything out
just kept in my heart would be enough
need to submit the portfolio scope soon
by oct 15 aww
which is like so rush
i still do not know what should my scope be
and being the first batch to do = NO COPYING

hahaha who cares as STA suppose to be creative
but i simply have nuts idea

whole brain have already contain too much saddness
sigh

somehow i don't feel,
when people say love

maybe i think too much...
i will try to sleep soon

The question
Think carefully about what you want.

The question which was asked long ago

what i want,
i want a stable job
but not a part-time
i want a stable career something to do with STA
i want to study Uni
to get degree
to get a better job
to have a better life
to be with the ONE i love
and...
be stable
and last
simple?
Yet hard...

The one hard to find,
hard to come by
yet...
it's a sigh

2009-10-06T03:02:00.002+08:00

Dara (2NE1) - Kiss

I just wanna kiss
I never wanna miss
More tingly one more time
Take my breath away
I'm dying for your kiss
I never wanna miss
Don't hold back any more
Take my lips away
(2NE1)

Baby boy
Why do you always have so much to say to that extent
Stuffy baby boy
I know you're going to confess you love me
I'm not a baby girl
I'm more quick-witted than you think
Every day we always go back to the same place
I don't know why the heck you even do that to me

Baby boy
Remember how I fell for that confidence
My baby boy
Your tempo is so much more boring than you think
I'm your baby girl
Why is it that when we separate, only my hands shake to that extent
A bouquet of flower is great, even a ring is great but
I guess you just never know

Don't speed up
Don't tell me boring stories
How would I be able to take it then?
Are you a guy by any chance?

Don't smile
It's so dull
Close your eyes and come here now
And just get it get it

I just wanna kiss
I never wanna miss
More tingly one more time
Take my breath away

I'm dying for your kiss
I never wanna miss
Don't hold back any more
Take my lips away

Hurry up
you let it touch
I never wanted a lot
Hurry up
you let it touch
Baby just for today, please
(uh uh uh uh CL)
Don't let me go

come on and let my body bounce
Don't test my patience
Today again, I'm 'bout to luz control
As if my heart is dynamite
Tik tik tok tok time goes fast
Please please stop stop this night is more last
The image of you smiling like a fool
It's hard for me to bear it, killing me
If you want me too let's go
Dancing, my heart is disco
As if you're making my surroundings spin
Without a word, A UFO that quickly flies away

Don't speed up
Don't tell me boring stories
How would I be able to take it then?
Are you a guy by any chance?

Don't smile
It's so dull
Close your eyes and come here now
And just get it get it

I just wanna kiss
I never wanna miss
More tingly one more time
Take my breath away

I'm dying for your kiss
I never wanna miss
Don't hold back any more
Take my lips away

Hurry up
you let it touch
I never wanted a lot
Hurry up
you let it touch
Baby just for today, please
(uh uh uh uh CL)
Don't let me go

Love is dangerous
Your gaze is so poisonous
Right now swaying, the two of us
But we just feel so good

Love is dangerous
Your lips are so poisonous
Right now swaying, the two of us
We dangerous
in danger danger danger danger

Love is dangerous
Your gaze is so poisonous
Right now swaying, the two of us
But we just feel so good

Love is dangerous
Your lips are so poisonous
Right now swaying, the two of us
We dangerous
in danger danger danger danger

Nice MV
sigh meaningful lyrics

2009-10-05T15:40:00.001+08:00

Sometimes i really think
the one always there are the ones being neglected
while the ones whom throw them away are the ones being treasured
so unfair is the world eh?

why? sigh

2009-10-05T15:30:00.002+08:00

In school now, End class like 30 min ago which is like 3pm God damn early ?!
First time think for the past modules would not happen like how it will be like today
God tomorrow having the briefing for the portfolio thingy
Have to attend die also have to attend 12-1pm

Have to be discipline (:
Later am going TCC bugis to study
today's is about alter ego
means another self of you today's module is character design quite cool though
but need to do journal
and i have done my reflection journal!
damn fast right?!

oh yah when out to smoke saw junice? i don't know how to spell the name
and ber !
that heartless ber, so long never find me this kind. ):

School was, okay not bad
my class got chio-bu HAHAHA!!

Interesting or not i do not know yet,
oh ya got this 1 girl looked like calista
pengz she just have common face =X

duh!!

Study plus work
im so tired and sleepy and hungry
aww

Sometimes i realise im just hopeless
and sometimes i just find something so wrong

never mind
feeling will fade eventually and i understand
maybe ...it happen but not for me
aww

hahahhaha!!
overtime peoples feeling me will fade just like how they forget me
which is good yet not good
i don't know what the hell im talking about

but expected though
seriously am i just so childish?
seriously i do not think im
and my class GOD now playing DJ-Max so lame?!

im hungry waiting for YH TO END HIS CLASS GO SMOKE WITH ME!
SLOW LAH YOU YH!!!!!
tmd tmd tmd i will slap you!
dare to say i smoke machine
hahahah!! pengz

sigh
am i really that complicated?
actually im very happy go lucky already
sometimes i just couldn't hide the saddness anymore
but never (: i will try harder
later actually have to go see sinsei
BUT i do not have the money to,
so maybe forget it HAHAHAHAH

Did i mention it hurts damn bad when im working yesterday sunday
sigh...nearly teared

but im strong (:
no worries

2009-10-05T03:17:00.002+08:00

sigh sch starting later
9.15am E24D and E24E
aww like just beside only?
and fri im off! No sch! damn cool

Holiday too much till i do not want to go sch
Sian already
yet i can't or else next time prepare to eat grass hahah!

Work today was so DULAN @ baby side
sigh, i feel something bad is starting can feel ya?

i have tonns to thoughts unspoken
Never seems to be happy though
though i did for sometimes
yet, deep down am not yeah?

sigh...

Seriously am i childish?
Being good is wrong
sometimes i feel so sad bout things
i wonder

i wonder who is actually lying and who is actually stating the facts
i wonder...
really have a lot to say

somehow sometimes i feel my efforts are not being appreciated
and like somehow
being neglected
somehow i feel damn demoralise
and sad

It's okay cause i will smile and let it go through
outside i may seems okay
trying to be strong and don't tear
because of the status of im a bung
i have to, maybe to many people and that's why im like that and have to

no matter how hurt my hand
i just kept quiet
like when i go NAFA take ice coffee
damn it's not heavy but because at baby side i injured again

Why always no matter what i have done people just cannot see it?
why is always all my efforts been gone to the drain?

When i really put my whole hearted to may it be love or do things
people just couldn't see it
people just wonder how bad i am
and think im a piece of f.king shit
say me this and that
no one understands me
and i do not want people to understand me
i know myself am complicated
but if you just sit down and listen if i wanna talk and you wanna hear
you will slowly see the real me
i know im not a good person
but deep down i wanted to be loved too
i wanted to be close too
i wanted to feel the care and not be neglected too
but then i think again
am i just a disturbance?
so once again i kept quiet
i would like to always be there as much as i can
i know no matter how hard i try
it doesn't works
it doesn't works this way
sigh...

fucked up life

2009-10-04T05:53:00.001+08:00

I've got to move on and be who I am
I just don't belong here
I hope you understand
We might find a place in this world somedayBut at least for now
I gotta go my own way

Sigh
tired
all i can say is sigh...

maybe i do not understand and never will i babe
hope i just can, but i couldn't
and never will i...

2009-10-03T08:11:00.003+08:00

By now you should already knew,
by being heartless is the only way to relieve you
the only way to help you

Yes, i treat everyone good
but i had enough of people saying me
say i giving people false hope

You never know your bad
neither did i never say i know your good
yes, i can see it
kinda touch at times
but...this is not like what it used to be

Different already...
I lost my chance, and you lost yours

As i always say nothing can be predicted nor predestinated in future
who knows about the future,
we live life to the fullest today
tomorrow would be the future
and yesterday have already past
it's part and parcel of a memory
no matter how hard you try
it will only be a memory that sunk deep in the heart

stay happy and cheerful like before you know me
be back to the child like girl i once knew
be the good girl i once knew
not the one i know now,
it's so not you

bad things i shall not say
good things are kept in people's heart and touches their heart

that's all i gonna say take care and good bye (:
sometimes im heartless
sometimes i had to be (:
hope you understand cheerios!

Today i upsell 6 ice cream though not a lot
but today is till date my best with 1 liq, 1 side garlic bread too

aww shall improve
im improving!

glad to know i am
Coming semester im free on friday!
OH GOD happy yet sad hahahah
cause i no elective
happy cause it's a fri! And Yt 8 oct i can GO! (: aww so happy!

i had a great day today
and im glad that things turn out alright
had fun too aww (:
work 3pm later
shall sleep aww MORNING everyone

when can i tell you?
Just when would i have the chance?

2009-10-02T04:44:00.002+08:00

16 oct 03
The 2nd time

25 june 09
orchard central + escalator

26 june 09
After the long lost

29 july 09
piano session

31 july 09
Visted with my guy friend

4 august 09
NDC

8 august 09
steamboat

10 august 09
suprise attack @ bugis

14 August 09
Dinner @ V8

19 august 09
bishan

23 august 09
the house on the left

25 august 09
interview @ Hq

30 august 09
1st time dinner @ TCC bugis

2 sept 09
First morning

3 sept 09
i know i went into TCC bugis

5 sept 09
quarrel session after drinking

sometimes i just hate to fall in love
cus it simply suck
the feeling of pain